No Fussing

"This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."

~Psalm 118:24

I hate fussing.

There was a string of it in our house last week. 

Maybe it was because of the dreary weather.  Maybe we were too cooped up in the house. Maybe it was because we were all missing T while he was out of town.  Maybe it was because I was feeling more tired and irritable.  Maybe the kids were more tired and irritable.  MOST likely, it was a combination of all the above.

The bottom line is, there was a lot of fussing in our house last week.  It seemed that regardless of the circumstances, the request, or the activity, something was inadequate and fussing ensued.  There were hysterics over the drinks offered, storytime choices, the outfits proposed, the meals prepared, and fun activities ending.  

As the mom, I think part of the reason I bristle so much at fussing is because to me it represents a displeasure with my efforts, and an ungratefulness that is hard to tolerate after working hard for my kids all day.  Ungratefulness and dissatisfaction can both be very hurtful when encountered again and again.  This is the case regardless of the fact that I am an adult and my kids are, well, kids. 

You may notice that I have neglected to mention the fussing that I did last week.  But, I'll admit now that I did my fair share.  I grumbled about the weather, complained to myself that I was bored with the week's activities, fussed to myself that I was lonely and scrunched my nose at my "To-Do" list.  

Today, during my quiet time, I am reminded that just a my children's fussing is offensive to me, my grumbling and complaining is offensive to God.  God is the perfect parent.  In His infinite goodness He has authored and allowed every circumstance I encounter.  He intends every moment for my good.  He is the Giver of every good gift.  When I refuse to find joy in the goodness of the day He has created, when I bristle at having to live within the confines of the day, when I grumble at the circumstances I encounter, I show a lack of trust and faith in His goodness and faithfulness.  I miss the opportunity to see and thank Him for my many blessings.  When I grumble in these ways, I set myself up to be resentful and ungrateful (crabby!) rather than freeing my heart with joy and thankfulness.  

Today I am thankful that the Lord is more patient with my grumbling than I am with my kids' fussing!  I am thankful for the lessons I learn from them through the blessing of being their mother.  I am also praying that the Spirit will give me a more grateful heart, as I strive to thank God for this day and it's circumstances, whatever may come.  And finally, I am encouraged that while gentle reminders "not to fuss" may or may not help adjust my kids behavior in the short-tem, an example of my own grateful heart and behavior will make a much more lasting impression in their lives and mine. 

Grocery Bag

Here is my plan for dinner this week, assuming Baby Bear doesn't make an early arrival.  One week to the due date!

Day One 

Spinach, bacon and mozzarella calzones

We love our homemade calzone dough!

Pizza/Calzone Dough

1 1/2 cups water

1 1/2 Tbs olive oil

3 3/4 cups bread flour

1 1/2 Tbs sugar

1 1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp rapid rise yeast (or 1 1/2 tsp regular yeast)

Mix together in a standing mixer or add to bread maker on the "dough" setting.

 

Day Two

Shrimp and grits from Coastal Living 

with creamed corn from Southern Living

We may live in Minnesota, but we love good Southern recipes.

T promises the creamed corn recipe is just like his grandmother's.

Photo and recipe from MyRecipes.com

Day Three

Larb with tortillas

and orange slices

Have you not yet tried larb?  Maybe this week is your week.  

It recipe is one of our favorites.

Day Four

Thick Three Bean Soup with homemade bread

Thick Three Bean Soup
by Happily Ever Johnson

½ cup dried lentils
½ cup dried split peas
28oz chicken broth
2 cups water
2 cups potato
2 cups frozen corn
1 cup edemame or lima beans
2 cups chopped onion
½ cup tomato sauce
½ tsp smoked sweet paprika
1 tsp salt
¾ tsp pepper
Juice from half a lime

1. Combine the first 9 ingredients in a large heavy-bottomed pot. Bring ingredients to a boil.
2. Simmer for 30-40 minutes or until lentils, peas and potatoes are tender.
3. Then add paprika, salt and pepper.
4. Simmer for 15 more minutes.
5. Transfer ½ of soup to a blender and puree.
6. Return to pot and stir in the lime juice.

Serve with sour cream and  lime wedges.

Day Five

Lasagna with homemade bread 

I haven't completely decided which recipe we'll do, but here are a few I am considering:

Winter Green Lasagna from Real Simple

Cheesy Vegetable Lasagna from Finding Joy in My Kitchen

Creamy Spinach Lasagna from Cooking Light

Photo and recipe from MyRecipes.com

Blessings on your kitchen this week!

Welcome home, Daddy

T has been killing it on the presenter's circuit so far this year.  He just returned from nearly a week out of town for his second (and last!) conference presentation of the year.  I had fully intended to join him for this conference, against all obstetrical advice, because the conference was in Tucson, AZ, and if ANYONE needed a trip to Tucson this week, it was me.  Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, reason prevailed earlier this winter and I decided that I would stay behind and not risk being the next "Baby Born On Plane" headline.

So, in addition to missing T terribly this week, I was more than a little morose that I was not in Arizona with him.   I also constantly wavered between my desire to have this baby soon and my insistence that I would not deliver until he returned.  Now there is no reason to hold back.  Bring on this baby!

For his part, T did an excellent job of making me feel like he was missing me just as much as I was missing him.  After nearly five years of marriage, T is only better than ever at encouraging me, reading my needs and responding in loving ways, whether he is on the road or at home.  I am always so thankful to have him back safe and sound.

First Playdate!

How fun for our G-Bear, who went to play at a friend's house for the first time today!

  

Our preschool friend, MJ, invited G-Bear over to play.  Instead of coming home at noon as expected, G-Bear stayed until 3:30pm because the girls were having so much fun.  E-Bear and I didn't know what to do with ourselves, we missed her so much :)  But the delight on her face when she returned home said it all:  she had a great time.  

What a treat it is to get to witness little "take flight" moments like these in our children's lives.  Four years ago this week, G-Bear was a helpless hatchling cradled in our arms.  Now we can proudly watch as she makes friends and takes early steps out on her own.  Way to go, G-Bear!

Uncertainty and The Shield

"In God let our hearts rejoice;

He is our help and our shield."

~Magnificat, Prayer for the Evening

Ah, Worry, my old friend.  You seem to return so quickly, even after I have shown you the door.

Although our move is still three and a half months away, there are many details to arrange.  Given the approaching arrival of Baby Bear, I have been trying to tackle several details, including finding us a place to live, securing school options for our children, reserving cheap moving options, etc.  I know I will have less energy for these decisions once Baby Bear arrives.

Earlier this week, it seemed that every item I had checked off my list was reappearing.  On Monday, we went from expecting to sign a rental lease on a house to having no housing because the home suddenly had a buyer.  A few days before, I learned that the preschool I had favored for G-Bear had no options for E-Bear and was far more time-intensive than I wanted for her.  While preschools in Minnesota still have plenty of spaces open for the fall, I learned that North Carolina preschools began enrolling in February and are frequently "waiting list only" by this time of the year.  Additionally, my lead on a "reasonable" moving company option came back with a price quote that was several thousand dollars above my budget.  

Sheesh.  I felt like I was pausing to catch my breath while walking up stairs, only to discover that I was really walking up the down escalator and was now back at the bottom where I started:

You have three children.  You can't just show up in a city without a place to live.

You have a family of five.  You'll never find affordable housing that fits your budget.

Your are months behind looking at preschools.  Good luck finding open spaces now.

Moving this summer?  Have you heard how expensive gas will be for your cross-country move?

You are having a baby soon; you have missed your chance to visit your new city to look at homes and schools.  Hope shopping site-unseen is good enough for you. 

Does the uncertainty of life and planning for the future ever frustrate you,  plague you, worry you, keep you awake at night?  Where do you turn when there seems to be no way out of the approaching unknown?  

Consider how different the words below are 

from the disparaging thoughts above:

"Let all the earth fear the Lord, all who live in the world revere him.

He spoke; and it came to be. He commanded; it sprang into being.

The Lord looks on those who revere him, on those who hope in his love,

to rescue their souls from death, to keep them alive in famine.

Our soul is waiting for the Lord.  The Lord is our help and our shield.

In him do our hearts find joy.  We trust in his holy name.

May your love be upon us, O Lord, as we place all our hope in you."

~Psalm 33:8-22 (selections)

Queen B, have you forgotten that the Lord spoke and the WORLD came into being?  Do you not know, as Easter approaches, that Jesus cared enough to save your soul from death?   He surely cares enough for you to sustain your little family through a cross country move!  And the beauty of claiming the Lord as your Shield?  You gain a Hope that will not disappoint you.   No longer will you be consumed and distracted by the slings and arrows of worry.  Shielded from worry and harm, you can focus on doing the important Work that God has given you to do: love your family, care for your neighbor, carry the Light of Christ into the shadows of the world.  

There is so much Work to be done.  Claim the Lord as your Shield. Trust in His Holy Name and in His plan for your path. 

First Park of the Season

Today was a big day -- our first trip of the year to a playground!  It was 55 degrees, sunny and breezy today, so we packed a picnic lunch, which we enjoyed in the car in the playground parking lot (still too cold for me to eat outside!!) and then hit the playground for some spring swinging and sliding fun.  The kids were quick to point out that this park wasn't dirty (meaning: all the snow had melted and the sand wasn't muddy), which of course was a relief to all of us, since the park by our house still has piles of snow on the baseball field!

Here's hoping our "Park Opener" today sets the stage for more fun spring days.

Happy Birthday to you, G-Bear!

In the twinkling of an eye....

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

 ....four years gone by!

Dearest G-Bear,

Happy birthday to you, our sweet princess.  What a treat it is to see you grow into the beautiful girl you are.  The excitement and joy that you exude is a blessing to everyone around you.  You are truly irreplaceable in our lives.  Your precious heart, love and thoughtfulness for others makes us proud.  We love reading Jesus stories with you, we love the eager questions you ask, we love watching you play with E-Bear, who continues to be your best friend.  You are quick to offer comfort, a big hug, and a cheerful "I love you" to all of us.  What a treat it was to share in your Princess Party this weekend and dinner at Cheesecake Factory tonight as a family.

We are so thankful for all the precious memories we have had with you the past year:

*April....Sharing many excitements with all of us: loving your Afwica necklace from Daddy, pointing out octagon stop signs on our walks, enjoying Jamba Juice with Daddy while mommy was on call, hunting eggs on Easter and and sharing them with E-Bear, and comforting your "baby boy" brother after a bump or a fall.

*May.....Sharing in your love of books, especially at the library, playing outside in the driveway with balls and bikes, buying helmets and trekking together down the Root River Trail (what a trooper!).

*June.....Tackling school and VBS for the first time in the same week--and loving it, singing "Awesome God" in the car together complete with hands in the air, splashing together at the splash pool with your cute pick floppy hat, and finger painting together on the front lawn.

*July.....Fourth of July at Lake Nebagamon, we watched your wariness as you hooked your first fish, and watched with pride as you waved to everyone during the boat parade.  We frequented Lake Harriet band performances, watching you dance with Daddy on the grass lawn.  You gave up paci at bedtime, for the sake of the babies who don't have pacies, but we kept it for naps. We're still singing "Go Jophus!" songs in the car and make a special trip to visit cousins in NC, where you revel in bathtimes and sprinkler runs with your cousins for a week.

*August...Our rainy day train trip to visit Dora at MOA delights you to no end, and we were writing letters together for the first time.  You were swimming on your back with Papa at the pool, and jumping in from the side after E-Bear led the way.  Calling E-Bear "Buddy," which melted our hearts, and making up fun new games together like 'going on vacation.'  The kiddie midway rides were your favorite at the state fair this year -- we couldn't keep you away from the twirling balloons!

*September...Who could forget your first day of school: your delight and excitement contrasted mightily by your brother's dismay and lonesome for you. You took to school like a fish to water...running so fast to the door from the car that I can barely keep up!  You started Sunday School, loving it even while we missed you at Mass.  We  took Beantown by storm when we visited Cousin Parkin after Mommy finished Boards, shrieking with glee everytime with rode the T!  Sesame Street podcasts are a favorite this year, enjoyed only in the bathroom with E-Bear at your side :)

*October....You walked perfectly down the aisle as Miss R's flower girl, looking all grown up in your fairytale dress and dancing with the older kids at the reception.  We cheered "Go Bama!" together with our shakers in the basement all football season.  You were our big helper when E-Bear broke his leg, bringing him toys and sharing storied with him on the couch to keep him company.  We shared a fun night at the Gopher football game together, cheering in the cold, and you and E-Bear were the cutest little pumpkins on the street on Halloween and counting your candy bounty afterwards.

*November....We shared Halloween treats after dinner for a month, and you enjoyed trips to school with Momo while Mommy was at work.  You waited for Thanksgiving with bated breath, asking me almost daily when it would arrive, and then you shared your Thanksgivings with so much eagerness as we decorated our paper turkey with thankfulness feathers.  You loved Thanksgiving at Auntie Sharon's house, especially the whipped cream, and boy, you loved your light-up necklace at the Nisswa light parade later that weekend.

*December....What a special Advent we had, playing with E-Bear trains, traveling to Alabama to visit cousins, where we enjoyed a fun pj Santa brunch and hunted for a Christmas tree.  Your preschool Christmas sing-along made me us so proud, and you jingled your jinglebell necklace along to every version of Jingle Bells in the car for weeks on end.  We went crazy with sprinkles making cookies for cousins. And boy oh boy, was Christmas special with all our family in town and with your excitement over welcoming Baby Jesus to the Nativity on Christmas Eve.

*January....You enjoyed popcorn every night from Nana's popcorn tin because it was your favorite treat, and you gave us all Christmas bracelets for a present on the twelfth day of Christmas.  Still saying "Daddy Jophus" despite your Daddy's best efforts, and you welcomed the return of school after your break away.  We share our "New Prayer" that you learned at Sunday School, which becomes a new favorite at the dinner table.  And you were RIVETED by Sesame Street Live, such a special night out with MoMo and Papa.

*February....We made special valentine's cards together for family and your friends at school, and you come home with special valentine's cards for Daddy and me.  You are playing ever more independently while Mommy does chores.  And you and E-Bear spend a special sleepover weekend with MoMo and Papa while Mommy and Daddy leave for a first time trip alone.

*March...You are truly our princess-loving girl.  We have enjoyed special Lent projects together and you are always teaching us things that you learn at Sunday School and Preschool.  You can almost write your name by yourself, an impressive feat!  You have lots of kisses for the baby belly, predicting a little sister who you plan to name "Sleeping Beauty." :)

Checking out the desserts at G-Bear's birthday dinner.

Make a wish!

G-Bear, may you continue to grow in wisdom and stature, in the favor of both God and men.  We have so many prayers and hopes for your year ahead.  May you continue to be best friends with your brother, and may you welcome your new sibling with the same open arms.  May you continue to bring your light of love into the lives of everyone you meet.  Daddy and I are so proud of you and we love you so much. Happy birthday, G-Bear, happy birthday to you!

Grocery Bag

I have a little more time this week to devote to dinner prep now that I am done with school, and it shows a bit in my menu planning.  Here's hoping for a good week in the kitchen!

Day One

Sweet and Sour Shrimp from Cooking Light Magazine 

with Sesame Lime Rice from Everyday Food Magazine

Photo and recipe from MyRecipes.com

Photo and recipe from MarthaStewart.com

Day Two

Lentil Chili from Food.com

with basmati rice

A long-time vegetarian favorite in our house.  

Serve the chili over rice for a filling meal. You'll never miss the meat.

Day Three

Salsa Verde Chicken and Dumplings from Pam Anderson's One Dish Dinners

with Spinach Bacon Salad from Pioneer Woman

One delicious duo.  These recipes are two of my favorites.

Photo from Twopeasandtheirpod.com 

Photo and recipe from The Pioneer Woman

Day Four

Fettucini Alfredo with bacon and peas from Cooking Light Magazine

with spinach strawberry salad

This is a simple and delicious alfredo recipe that doesn't weigh you down.

Perfect with a spring spinach salad.

Photo and recipe from MyRecipes

Day Five

Crockpot Ziti from Finding Joy in My Kitchen

 Yum!  My friend Snowhite does it right with this great slowcooker recipe.  It hides 

veggies deliciously out of sight from skeptical toddlers :)

Photo and recipe from Finding Joy in My Kitchen

Blessings on your kitchen this week!

Daybook for April 2011

It has been a while since I included a Daybook, but the start of a new month is the perfect time.  Especially when the month is April!  Hooray for all that we have to look forward to this month!

Outside my window... There is still snow on the lawn!  But, we did play outside today in our driveway, complete with sunglasses, bouncy balls and sidewalk chalk.  What a relief!  It is wonderful to have the spring sunshine pouring in our window throughout the day (even if it is still chilly outside!), bringing brightness and the promise of spring to our days.

I am thinking...About how you can never really be ready for a new baby to arrive, no matter how much preparation you put in.  There will always be more laundry to do, more organizing to be done, more piles to clear, more chores and errands to run.  Because, Queen B, this is life, not a picture in a baby magazine.  Overwhelming to be sure, but I take comfort in the fact that we have welcomed two little ones before, and with each passing day we are more excited to welcome Baby Bear into the crazed excitement that is our life.  

I am thankful... For T, my husband and best friend, and two little munchkins who are so excited to invite me to play with them, whatever they are doing.  How could I ever be lonely when I am surrounded by my best friends, who also happen to be my husband and kids?  What a blessing.  

From the learning rooms...We are all practicing our letters together, as G-Bear can almost write her whole name by herself and E-Bear adds to his letter repertoire almost daily.  We are also learning about what a "dozen" is, thanks to a recent Sesame Street "Word on the Street" episode.  Today at the grocery store we stood in the dairy section while both of the kids counted the eggs in the carton we were going to buy. G-Bear proudly informed T, "....eleven, twelve.  See, Daddy, THAT is a dozen."  That's my girl :)

From the kitchen...our latest favorites are morning fruit smoothies and homemade granola bar snacks.  Yum!  I will be sure to include the recipes sometime soon.

I am wearing...the most generous-fitting maternity clothes I have, because this belly is definitely in charge these days!  It is always awe-inspiring to me at this point in my pregnancy just how much my body has accommodated to fit around the baby, growing and stretching in amazing ways!  It is truly a miraculous transformation, as is the disappearance of the belly (hopefully :) after the baby is born.  

I am creating...giant piles of paper to recycle our of our respective residency and medical school hoardings.  Five years of medical training apiece creates an awe-inspiring mountain of paper to sort through!   I am just glad I am sorting through it now, as opposed to this summer when our packing and moving crunch hits.  The process is much less painful this way, thank you Jesus.

I am going...crazy with excitement over the house we will be renting next year after our move.  We will have a big backyard for the first time ever.  Both T and I are thrilled that the kids with have plenty of space to get out, run and play any time of the day or evening.  T might even get to grill once in a while, I might even get to plant something.  Just be sure to remind us about how great it is to have a big yard when we are sick of mowing the lawn next year. :)

I am reading...less than I would like this Lent.  Every time I sit down to read during a quiet moment these days I seem to fall asleep!  Welcome to the last few weeks of pregnancy :)

I am hoping...not to go into labor this week while T is busy presenting his research at another conference.   Nothing distracts from a presentation like a emergent phone call that your wife is in labor!  

I am hearing...the sweet sound of silence.  Silence is truly a rarity in our house that is about to become even more rare.  Are we really ready for round three?  Good thing we love hustle and bustle around here.

Around the house...signs of winter are disappearing and evidence of spring is bursting through.  Gone are the preschool paintings of snowmen and snowflakes, replaced by creations of tissue paper cherry blossoms and colorings of bright flowers.  In a supremely bold move for a Minnesotan, I even packed away our winter coats, hats and mittens this weekend.  We'll just have to tough it out with our sweaters and vests if it snows again this month!

One of my favorite things...doing a puzzle with E-Bear and G-Bear.  Last night we were all doing one together.  Everyone was making their own impressive contribution to the effort.  I am amazed by how even young children can be enticed by a good puzzle and by how the common challenge brings us together in the best teamwork way.

A few plans for the rest of the week:  Oh, my, we have a LOT to look forward to, not just this week but this whole month.  This week is G-Bear's 4th birthday and a princess birthday party in her honor.  Soon after that is my birthday (the big 3-0!) as well as Baby Bear's arrival and Easter.  This month is sure to be jam packed with fun.  Hold on to your hats.

A picture for thought...G-Bear and E-Bear just over a week ago, on a snowy walk in our neighborhood after it had snowed another 5 inches.  April, we're glad you're here......now get to work!

Love and Justice

In life, politics, philosophy, and parenting, love and justice can seem like challenging, if not outright incompatible, attributes to combine.  Christians hold God to be both perfectly loving and perfectly just, but even the giants of Christianity have at times struggled to practically unite the two for life here on earth.  In college I took a whole semester Christian religion course called "Love & Justice," and reading hundreds of pages on the subject only seemed to confuse the issue.  As a parent, I have days when showing my kids love and maintaining justice in the ranks feels frustratingly contradictory.  Sheesh, sometimes it's hard to know how to be EITHER just or loving, let alone both.

This week I realized that our Lent bean jar is teaching me a lesson about how God's love and justice come together for me as I bring them together in my parenting.  By way of reminder, during Lent I have set out a jar of dried beans for my kids as well as an Easter basket.  Each time someone does something kind, helpful, generous, sacrificial or particularly obedient, that person gets to take a bean from the jar and put it in the Easter basket, knowing that on Easter the dried beans in the Easter basket will turn into jelly beans.

The Justice Part: I am really specific about when the kids can put a bean in the basket.  I make a special point to tell them what they have done that merits a bean transfer, and we are careful to make sure that the number of beans they pick out and put in the basket doesn't exceed the number of deeds performed. Seeing how much my kids delight in getting to put a bean in the basket sometimes tempts me to let them do it "just for the fun of it" or to artificially multiply things during the day that "merit" a bean.  But, I want the basket to serve as a just reward that draws the kids' attention to positive behaviors and the effect such behaviors can have on their life.

The Love Part:  I realized this week that regardless of how many beans are in the basket on Easter eve, when the beans are transformed into jelly beans, there is no way I am going to count out each dried bean one by one to match each one with a jelly bean.  When the dried beans become jelly beans on Easter, you better believe I am going to HEAP that basket full of jellies.  And I can't wait to do it.  Because when it comes to my contribution to the Easter jellybeans, I want to bless my kids above and beyond what they "earned".  And I realized this week that is how God's love works in my life too.

God's justice knows our every obedience and every shortcoming.  He sees each one, knows them by heart and sees the real effects of every sin and good in our life and the world.  He is also lavish in His love when we lay our inadequate efforts at His feet.  He looks on us with love and showers us with blessing beyond what we deserve.

Not that I won't still struggle at times with how love and justice come together.  But thanks to our bean jar, I see more clearly how we parents can, like God, be both.