Girls Day Out

While we were on our family cross-country road trip this summer, G-Bear confided to me that she wished for a day just with me -- a Girls Day Out.  I told her that I would love that too and asked her to make a list of things that she would like to do together.  I'll treasure the list for a long time to come.

Together, we planned our day, and finally, just before school started, we were able to make it a reality.   Miss M, our awesome babysitter, came over to play with J-Bear and the boys.  Then I got to sneak out with this lovely lady:

G-Bear braided our hair for the occasion, and we both wore our pearls and pink dresses.  

We had a bag of goodies with us for our day together.

We were ready.

Our first stop was the Barnes & Noble in Mall of America.  G-Bear had said she wanted to read books together, so we headed straight for the kids' section.  We sat there reading and perusing books for an hour and a half.  What a wonderful luxury!  What a treat that we both love books so much! There were so many good books that we didn't even have time to look at all of our interests, so we made a promise to make a list of favorites and return sometime soon. 

Pretty soon, our tummies were rumbling, which was perfect because I admitted to G-Bear that I had made reservations for lunch.  She was surprised, amazed and full of smiles when we walked into the American Girls store and I told her we were having lunch there.  What an unbelievable treat!  Now G-Bear understood why I had suggested that we bring our American Girl dolls along.  G-Bear had dressed Molly and Samantha to the nines for the occasion.

 We had time to peruse the store together right before being seated for our reservation.  We giggled and bounced from display to display.  I loved seeing which ones she liked the best.  Then, who should meet us for our table?  Why, MoMo of course!  

It was so fitting that MoMo could join us for many reasons.  MoMo loved the original American Girls when they were still made by Pleasant Company way back when I was little.  There wasn't an American Girl store in Minnesota when I was young, so we never got to go to an American Girl store together.  But, MoMo pioneered the whole idea of a Mom-And-Me-Day for me when I was young, and as with all things, MoMo taught me well.  I have amazing, awe-inspiring memories of Mom and Me Days with MoMo at ValleyFair, eating mini doughnuts, getting sick on french silk pie, watching IMAX movies and eating lunch together during the show at the Red Saloon.  It is largely because of my wonderful memories with MoMo that I was so excited to make similar memories with G-Bear.  So, of course, MoMo had to be invited to lunch.

The American Girl Bistro is a wonderful treat.  The restaurant is full of details that make the experience special.  For instance, each place setting napkin was folded with a ribbon that was actually a hair tie and ours to keep.  Our table also boasted a cute pink box filled with thoughtful questions to ask each other to foster conversation during lunch.

The dolls were give seats of honor at the table in their very own highchair.  Should a guest forget to bring a doll, there are borrow dolls at the front desk ready to dine with you.  Samantha and Molly each received a cup and plate for their meal that they were allowed to take home, just another fun momento from the meal.  Our table also boasted a cute pink box filled with thoughtful questions to ask each other to foster conversation during lunch.

For all the special details, lunch was really very reasonably priced.  For fifteen dollars per person, we each got to choose an appetizer and a main course.  My appetizer was the fruit and yogurt plate, complete with mini muffins and a daisy hair accessory.  MoMo had the soup and G-Bear chose the soft pretzel bites.  For lunch, I had a delicious salad, MoMo had a lovely club sandwich and G-Bear choose a yummy pasta dish.  We were all impressed with our meals.

We did have one stowaway, but Blue Bear was very good.  He slept most of the time in the sling and only woke up long enough to eat, burp and look around.  G-Bear gave him an exemption to attend the girls'  day because he is so little.

 G-Bear choose a root beer float from the extensive and impressive dessert menu and drank the whole thing like a champ.  Then it was time for us to say good-bye to MoMo for the afternoon.  We had a wonderful time all together.

I saved my treat -- an afternoon coffee-- so that G-Bear and I could head to a coffee shop to finish off our afternoon.  We still had to paint nails and make friendship bracelets, and we were running out of time!  So, over my latte, we taught ourselves how to weave with G-Bear's friendship bracelet kit.  It was easier than I thought and G-Bear declared that it was her new favorite thing to do, "almost like sewing!"

When we ran out of time at the coffee shop, I promised that we would paint nails later that night because the boys were going to be away.  After we tucked J-Bear in bed, that is just what we did.  We got out our Migi nail pens and I painted blue and pink flowers for G-Bear and then taught her how to paint my nails with polish too.  It didn't take her long to figure it out.

We agreed that this had been a tremendously special day.  I thanked G-Bear for making me a mom.  I told her how blessed I felt to be able to spend a whole day with a wonderful eight year old like her.  If it weren't for G-Bear, I wouldn't get to spend a day giggling, holding hands, making friendship bracelets, painting nails and reading books on the floor of the bookstore.  I wouldn't be enjoying lunch at American Girl with MoMo and a darling girl who loves to read the conversation questions.  G-Bear is a tremendous friend and daughter, and my life is rich and full because of the energetic, enthusiastic, creative and eager girl that she is.  I am so thankful to enjoy so many of the things that she loves, and I love sharing in every moment with her.

"Mom, I can't wait for our next Girls Day Out," said G-Bear at the end of the day. 

Me either, sweetie.

Happily Ever,
Queen B

A perfect poem for my life with five

A friend of mine sent this poem to me.  I first smiled at the fact that I could be known so well by a friend, even one who hasn't met our dear Littlest yet.  Then, I sighed in relief that another has clearly lived intimately with with five young children, survived, and loved it enough to  crystalize the experience in a exquisite piece of poetry.  Motherhood is timeless.

Song for a Fifth Child

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

(1921~    )

Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.

Happily Ever,
Queen B

E-Bear's Mother's Day Paraliturgy

Wow, this Momma felt really special today thanks to E-Bear's hard work and preparation!

Today, E-Bear's class at school hosted all their moms for a "Mother's Day Paraliturgy."  This was a wonderful, prayerful, musical event with lots of arts and crafts gifts and a cake reception at the end.  

Highlights included:

hand-colored portraits of all the mothers that marked our assigned seats,

 the Kinders' entrance procession carrying handmade sunshines that they presented to each mother, 

the "Laundry Song," which made us all laugh, and other songs sung into handmade microphones,

each Kinder's personal reflection of why his or her mom is "The Sunshine of My Life..."

the cake reception, where we all received memory books of our Kinder's first year of school.

E-Bear had practiced his songs and worked on his crafts for weeks.  He was so proud and enthusiastic singing the songs and presenting me with his gifts.  I was impressed and moved by his strong singing,(his teacher could always depend on him to sing his best and loudest), his sincerity and his delight in making me feel special.  When it was his turn, E-Bear's reflection for me was, "My Mom is the Sunshine of my life because she plays baseball with me."  I had no idea that my backyard pitching sessions meant to much to him!  You can bet we will be doing a lot more of those over the summer.  "Did you like what I said, mom?" E-Bear asked me afterwards.  You better believe it, Buddy.  

We had so much fun together afterwards eating cake and reflecting on the morning.  

Thank you, E-Bear for making me feel so special, for making me a mom and for the many blessings that you bring to my life.  I consider being your mother one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given me, and I look forward to all the days ahead, getting to walk with you as you grow into the man that God has created you to be.

Happily Ever,
Queen B

My meditation for today

Happily Ever,

Queen B

On ice skating, and other Life Lessons from winter

As I have mentioned, our family project for the next few months is to tackle ice skating.  This effort requires several necessities: skates for all Johnsons, including J-Bear,  sufficient ice at the rink of our neighborhood park, the thickest possible thermal wear, and above all, extreme patience and formidable fortitude on the part of the mother.  Of great value is J-Bear's new Christmas sled, which can be used to push (and thus occupy) her around the ice, and kiddie chairs for Buddy Bear to push (and thus stay up right) around the ice.  At this point, we have now been skating four times, three times as a family and once just me and the children.  By the end of each session, I have wrestled with whether my appropriate reaction should be one of extreme pride and accomplishment or horrified, contrite embarrassment.  I suspect, as with most things, my best reflection is somewhere in between the extremes.

J-Bear with Dad at the rink.  She's not so sure about this ice business.

We are not, by a long shot, the most graceful bunch on the ice.  G-Bear, for her part, can really hold her own, and is enjoying not only skating proficiently, but occasionally adds little twirls and one-footed moves into her glides.  E-Bear can stand and walk/waddle on his own, and he is progressing rapidly, such that he can really move with the aid of a chair.  Buddy Bear is also progressing rapidly, now able to stand along (most of the time) and now able to make forward movements with the support of a chair.  J-Bear can stand (on land, but not on ice) in her skates.

She's up!

Neither are we, by a long shot, the happiest group on the ice.  I have noted that during each of our engagements at the rink, no fewer than two Johnsons have been howling and in tears at any given moment.  I find it challenging to be simultaneously supportive of one child's excitement and successes on the ice and sympathetic of the other who simply refuses, out of utter disgust and frustration, to alter their howling, horizontal position on the ice at my feet.

She's down.

I love the potential freedom of being able to hand my children their skates, help them with an occasional lace and send them off into pseudo-independence on the block-long rink of our community park.  The intoxicating endorphin rush from getting exercise outside in the Minnesota freezing cold is a nice bonus.  But in-between cajoling statements and the realities of tear-studded cheeks, I find myself wondering, 'Is this really worth it?'

I console myself with the rationalization that we are learning important lessons out on the ice.  Life lessons.  Lessons of fortitude and persistence.  Each and every one of us is learning a lesson.

Lesson #1:  You will fall.  Your must choose if you will get back up and try again.  Please forgive me for relishing the overt spiritual metaphor to this skating lesson.  I told my kids on our first day of skating that it would be hard, much harder than it looks, and their first job would be to learn how to get back up after they fell down.  They didn't believe me, but once their skates were on, they discovered the truth.  Learning to skate, like life itself, involves a lot of falls and failed attempts.  We each have to choose how to handle our failings.  Shall we wallow on the ice, crawl off and give up?  Or, shall we ask for help and try getting up again.  On the ice, we may need an encouraging word, a helping hand, or the back of a kiddie chair to right ourselves and try again.  In life, we need confession, Christ's limitless mercy, and His grace to help us carry on once more.   

MoMo is both a great spectator and a ray of sunshine at the rink.

Lesson #2: Sometimes just pushing harder isn't the solution.  Whether trying to put on your skates or make forward progress on the ice, you need to find your edge.  Just when my kids are ready to give up putting on their skates, I remind them that there is a technique--loosen the straps and wiggle, don't push, your way in.  On the ice, I have watched them struggle to move forward on the ice.  In time, each one will find their edges and suddenly start to fly.  Life is so similar.  Many times we bang our heads against a metaphorical wall, when what we really need is patience and finesse.  

Lesson #3:  There is joy to be found in the martyrdom of motherhood.  If a confession can be tolerated, I will make this one: I am a pretty selfish, impatient person.  There was a time in my life, not so long ago, when an activity like these trips to the rink would have left me crabby and unfulfilled.  I would have left despondent that I had gotten no exercise, frustrated that I had done nothing but tie laces and hold hands on the sidelines, and disappointed by all the fussing I had endured.  But, within motherhood there is a real martyrdom to be found: a true, daily dying to self that can produce abundant fruit and paradoxical joy if embraced with love by God's grace and help.  These days at the rink, my pride cared less about the scrutinies of others as I sent my child, once more, out onto the rink;  I didn't count or miss the number of laps around the rink that I DIDN'T get to do;  my heart actually swelled with love once or twice when I was asked to tie a skate, kiss a tear-streaked cheek, cajole a frustrated complainer or sit out with the momentarily discouraged.  I realized that these silent progress points are the result of countless falls on my part.  But more importantly, they are the result of my efforts to get up again through confession, by God's merciful forgiveness, with His abundant grace.  

Certainly, by the time we finish our winter ice skating project, there will be more lessons.  I hope that we will also have some fun along the way.  If not, at least we bought the skates used, we can look forward to swimming lessons, and the rink will probably melt away by June at the latest.  Until then, just call us the (not-so-much-but-wanna-be) Mighty Ducks.

Happily Ever,
Queen B

Moments of Affirmation

Motherhood is not easy.  Moments like these give me hope.

"Mommy, I love you.  

I am going to pray to Jesus.  

Jesus, please come into my heart and make me more like you."  

~Buddy Bear

"Mom, today at school I was supposed to think of someone who is alive that I think is like a saint.  

Do you know who I said?  I said you." 

 ~E-Bear

"Mommy, I love you so so so so so so so so so much. xoxoxoxoxoxo"  

~G-Bear's note to me after practicing her spelling

"Three cheers for Jesus!  

Hip, hip, HOORAY!  Hip, hip, HOORAY!  Hip, hip, HOORAY!"  

~Buddy Bear 

Happily Ever,

Queen B

Cheerful Everyday

Sometimes I need the reminder.

I struggle to be cheerful amidst the obligations of everyday life.  The gospels and New Testament letters are filled with exhortations to believers to be of good cheer.   But, let’s face it, not every moment of the day is rosy and enjoyable, no matter our vocation.  A priest recently reminded me that a cheerful witness is easier when we unite ourselves with Jesus in difficult moments.  We can pray that “the joy of the Lord” might be our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).  After all, Christ was not smiling and skipping on his way to the cross, but bore his sufferings and cross “for the joy set before him” (Heb 12:2). When the pot is boiling over on the stove, when the mess must be cleaned up, when baby is screaming and the bike ride is getting tough, I can offer a great witness to my kids if I offer a cheerful word or action rather than a frustrated frown.  Lord, may your joy be our strength!

Prayer Intentions

Q

"If God seems slow in responding, it is because He is preparing a better gift. He will not deny us. God withholds what you are not yet ready for. He wants you to have a lively desire for His greatest gifts. All of which is to say, pray always and do not lose heart."

- St. Augustine

Fix your heart on Jesus

One child is fussing.   A diaper needs to be changed.  Two children are tussling.  The phone is ringing.  We're late for school.   Backpacks are missing.  Shoes need to be tied.  A child needs help on the potty.  The new lawn needs to be watered.  Toys must be picked up.  Breakfast is burning.  The bills must be mailed.  We're out of milk.   This is just one moment of many in the day, and it is only 7:45am.

Thank you, Lord, that I am reminded:

"We are surrounded by many events that move us from one place to another. But we asked for the grace to have a fixed heart, like Paul: so as not to complain about the persecution he went in search to another city; he began to preach there; to heal the sick; realizing that that man had enough faith to be healed; then, calm this excited people who wanted to make a sacrifice to him; then, to proclaim that there is only one God, with their own cultural language. One thing after another ... And this can only come from a steady heart".

Is my heart steady today in the Lord?  Or do all of these tasks, interruptions, demands discourage my heart and make me want to hide? 

"With this example, we can ask ourselves today: What kind of heart do we have? Is it a fickle heart which like a dancer, like a butterfly flits from one to another…always in motion; Is it a heart that is scared by the vicissitudes of life, and is hiding and afraid to give witness to Jesus Christ; is it a brave heart or a heart that has so much fear and is always trying to hide? What does our heart care for? What treasure does our heart custody? Is my heart fixed upon creatures, the problems that we all have ? Is my heart fixed upon everyday gods or is it a heart fixed on the Holy Spirit? "

"Do I let myself get carried away by these things or face these events with a fixed heart, that knows where it is? The only one that gives firmness to our hearts is the Holy Spirit. It would do us good to think that we have this great gift that Jesus left us, the Spirit of fortitude, of counsel, who helps us to move forward in the midst, surrounded by every day trials. We should do this exercise today, ask how our heart is: Firm or not? And if it is firm, where does it dwell? In things or in the Holy Spirit ? It would do us good! "  ~Pope Francis, Monday morning homily

Happy Mother's Day

On Mother's Day morning, T woke me with chai tea in hand.  I could hear the kids were already up, but I didn't know what they were up to until they arrived in our room a few minutes later.

"Happy Mother's Day!" They cried.  

"Come down stairs, we have a surprise for you!"

Down in the dining room, the table was set for breakfast, "just like you do for us, Mommy!" Donuts from our favorite neighborhood bakery were on each plate, courtesy of T. 

My kids have never done this before, and I was really touched.  They had done it all themselves, without any prompting from T, and it was so sweet for me to see the pleasure in their eyes when I commended them all.  My smiles brought them so much joy.  

E-Bear made me a lovely potted flower and G-Bear painted a flower pot for me as a gift.  There were also colored paper bracelets and a paper crown for me to wear from the kids!  What a treat!  I felt like one treasured momma.

I am so grateful to God for the opportunity to be a mother.  My latest reading is Holiness for Housewives and other working women by Hubert van Zeller.  It is the perfect food for my soul this month.  In it, van Zeller quotes G.K. Chesterton:

"How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.”

― G.K. Chesterton, What's Wrong with the World

Increasingly, I am aware of the hugeness of the task of motherhood.  It demands my every resource, talent and ounce of energy.  God, that you would make me worthy to the task, for your glory, for the sake of these precious little souls and for the good of the world.  

Happy Mother's Day!

Another One Year Old

Every time we go through the one-year mark, I am amazed by how much I still have to learn about this stage (or every stage, for that matter).  Is our house child-proof?  I thought so, until two weeks ago when J-Bear started furniture walking.  What foods can make her choke at this stage?  Never mind my medical training.  Can I possibly make it through the day with only ONE nap time, not two?  How am I supposed to make it through daily Mass when my wiggleworm starts wriggling while I am still genuflecting?

I remember how, as a first time mom, I marveled at the mothers who seemed to have it all together with multiple children.  If I ever give you that impression while we’re out and about, I assure you, its a ruse (albeit a well-intentioned one).  These days, I take comfort in the value of my experience, while trying to enjoy the greenhorn feeling again.

So as I raised the celebratory single candle in honor of my daughter, I also raise it in salute to all of my fellow moms who have helped me through this stage before and will surely help me through it again.

Happy Birthday!

With all the family birthdays we celebrate in the month of April, I am amazed that I still have my own day.  But, here we are, today is the day!

A big hug to T for my birthday present, an amazing dinner at Bar La Grassa and tickets to hear Jim Gaffigan with a few of our close friends.  A big high five to MoMo and Papa who babysat so we could go out alone.   I laughed so hard, I almost cried!   

Today, I am especially thankful for MoMo and Papa, who brought me so far, and for their example.

I am thankful for T, the love of my life, and for our precious Bears.

I am thankful for God's amazing love and grace.

My prayer, as I look forward to the next year, is that God would continue to mold and shape me into a better daughter, wife, mother,

one like whom my daughters would someday want to be.

Thoughts from Pope Francis for the end of Lent

I am so grateful for the practical advice and wisdom that Pope Francis shares with us.  In his general audience message on Wednesday, Pope Francis began a new cycle of teaching on the gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of God).  He began his teaching on the gift of wisdom.  His full message can be found here.  Below is an excerpt that spoke right into the heart of my daily life as a wife and mother:

“If we listen to the Holy Spirit, He teaches us this way of wisdom, He gives us wisdom which is to see with God’s eyes, to hear with God’s ears, to love with God’s heart, to judge things with God’s judgment. This is the wisdom that the Holy Spirit gives us, and we can all have it, we only need to ask the Holy Spirit for it.  Think of a mother at home with the children, that when one does something, the other thinks of something else, and the poor mother goes from one place to the other with the problems of the children. And when mothers are tired and shout at the children, is that wisdom? To shout at children – I ask you – is that wisdom? What do you say: is it wisdom or not? No! Instead, when the Mother picks up the child and reproves him gently and says to him: “This isn’t done because …”, and she explains it to him with much patience, is this the wisdom of God? Yes! It is what the Holy Spirit gives us in life!  Then in marriage, for instance, the two spouses – the husband and the wife – quarrel, and then they don’t look at each other, or if they do look at one another they do so with a cross face: is this the wisdom of God? No! Instead they say: “well, the storm has passed, let’s make peace,” and they begin again to go forward in peace: is this wisdom? [the people: Yes!] See, this is the gift of wisdom. May it come to the home, may it come with the children, may it come with all of us!”

How beautiful!  Wisdom from the Holy Spirit isn’t some unattainable, impractical fountain of knowledge.  Rather, it is of inestimable practical value for the minute moments of my everyday life.  I also love how the crowd seemed to be caught off guard by the Holy Father’s example and question.  I could imagine a rumble through the crowd (or was it my own heart?): ‘What, surely we don’t need to be worried about shouting at our children?  Everyone does that!  Surely, the Holy Spirit is concerned with much bigger issues of sin than that?’  Sometimes I can be deluded by the banality of my sin, as if it has less of a poisoning effect on my children or the world because it is common or because “everyone does it.”  No way!  This is where I must start seeking God’s wisdom, right at the heart of my day.

As Holy Week approaches, I am hungry for the wisdom of the Spirit!  Come, Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with your Wisdom.

March Milestones

March brings a change in season.

This year, it brings lots of other changes in our house as well.

J-Bear is standing with the help of the furniture.

She greets us from her crib with a wave and a "hi!"

She says "bah-bee" as she snuggles her blankie and dolly.

Her delighted clapping keeps all of us smiling.

Buddy Bear and I have decided to tackle potty training.

This time we're serious.

I've gotten out the plastic pants and foregone diapers.  

The most effective rewards are chocolate coins and Disney Jr. shows.

E-Bear went snowshoeing with T for the first time.
He is reading family names and simple words like 'Mom' and 'Dad' by himself.
He tells me, "Mom, I feel ready for Kindergarten."

G-Bear knows her doubles math problems by heart.
Her reading is so fluent now.
She was sport of the month in gym class.

This crew is growing up so fast!  Sometimes it is hard for me to keep up!

I am hoping that March goes out like a lamb...

and a stair safety gate....

and a pair of dry underwear...
and kid who loves school...
and a Sport of the Month.

Filling Up Again

"When we spend time with God, we bring something with us for others, and that is supposed to decrease, to be lessened while it enriches others.  No water boy should complain that the bottles get empty when he goes down to the field. His job is to go back and fill them up again."  ~Dr. Edward Mulholland, Benedictine College

This Lenten season, I have tried to spend more time with God in prayer.  I have been encouraged by the excellent book, Time for God by Father Jacques Philippe.  This extra prayer time, when I have made time for it, has been a blessing!  Father Philippe makes the simple point that no matter what our daily schedule holds, we MUST prioritize quiet time with God in prayer.   Returning to the loving, peaceful presence of God is infinitely valuable and healing for our souls.

When my prayer time is over and I return to the fray of family life, though, it is not long before I feel as though my spiritual and emotional stores are draining again.  "What happened, Lord?" I wonder.  I feel as though my children, neighbors, and responsibilities,  important as they are, are like little vacuums sucking up the peacefulness, patience and loving presence that I experienced during my prayers.

The quote above, part of a larger Lenten article by Dr. Mulholland, helped me to put these feelings in perspective, as did our Holy Father's Lenten message.  "He became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich," we are encouraged by 2 Corinthians 8:9, the focal scripture passage for Pope Francis' message.

Rising up from prayer, I can emulate our Lord by offering the riches of my prayer time to my children, my husband, my neighbor.  Yes, as I delve back into the business and messiness of the world, I may feel a drain of my peace and patience and loving kindness as I interact with others.  By God's grace, others may be enriched by the Living Water I have to offer from my time with Him.  If I feel "poured out" from sharing these spiritual blessings with others, I am learning that this is something to celebrate, not resent!  And, when I feel my tank is empty, may take the time to return to the Lord, that He might fill me up again.   Even Jesus retreated often to be alone with the Father in quiet prayer, and so must I.

Mom, You are my Sunshine

Happy Mother's Day weekend, friends.

We are having a really special Mother's Day here in Happily Ever Johnson Land.

On Thursday, G-Bear's Kinder class performed a Mother's Day Paraliturgy Program.

The moms were the honored guests of the program.  

We each had a special seat, decorated with personalized pictures. 

My portrait, by G-Bear

Our children were the stars.

The kids marched in singing "You are My Sunshine," carrying sunshines for Mom.

By the end, there were very few dry eyes in the performance hall.

I am one blessed Momma.

This weekend, we are blessed to have Nana with us.

Nana has four children, and now, thanks to the birth of J-Bear and her new cousin, she is grandmother of twelve.

Nana with G-Bear after her program.

This weekend, we are blessed to be with MoMo, who is home from Mayo and our inspiration.

GrandMo and J-Bear

To celebrate these amazing women in Mother's Day grandeur, our kids made daffodil leis. 

MoMo's daffodil lei from the Bears.

The Bears have made me feel really special too.

In G-Bear's program, each child got a chance to tell their mom something she appreciated about her.

Each response was so special, but, of course, G-Bear's comment was the most special to me (I know I am biased):

"My Mom is the sunshine of my life because she reads the best stories."

Six years ago, G-Bear made me a Momma.  

She continues to be a blessing my life each and everyday.

My present from G-Bear

E-Bear wowed me with a special present as well.  

Can you believe that he and G-Bear both gave me the same compliment in their gifts?

Do you think they planned it?

 I am glad my Bears seem to love our daily story time as much as I do :)

 E-Bear came running out of preschool with a big smile on his face as he presented me with his gift.  The lovely purple and white pansy keeps me company in the kitchen.

It is a perfect symbol of the joy E-Bear brings to my daily life.

My present from E-Bear

Becoming a mother four times over has been an incredible, miraculous experience that has blessed my life in unimaginable ways.  The blessing of mothering my children is beyond anything that can be celebrated in a single day.  But, I definitely have some teachers to thank for all the effort they put into helping my children make my Mother's Day so special!  

To MoMo and Nana, GG, and our beloved GG Isabel in heaven, we love you.  You are irreplaceable, to you we owe thanksgiving for our lives and so much in them, you are inspiration for our journey.  Thank you for teaching me daily how to be a better Mother.  Jesus, thank you for giving us Your own mother as an example for us for all time. 

Thank you, Lord, for the mothers in our lives.  

Make-over

The devil is vying with God for beauty.  While God uses beauty to draw us to Himself,  

the devil manipulates beauty in an effort to lead us astray.  We, too, can use beauty, not out of vanity, but as part of our witness, drawing others to the Good.

A few weeks ago, I attended a Christian women's conference.  One of the speakers was scheduled to offer comments curiously entitled, "Does fashion matter?"  Reading the schedule prior to the event prompted me to say to a few of my close friends, "goodness, this conference is really going to cramp the jeans-and-athletic-shirt motif that I have going these days."  

While I promise that I shower on a (semi) regular basis, and I have plenty of presentable clothes in my closet, I am not a fashionista.  First of all, fashion has never been a forte or fascination of mine.  The most fashionable clothes in my closet are either hand-me-downs from my younger sister or gifts from my mother-in-law.  Second of all, I don't enjoy shopping all that much, and with a growing family and a limited budget, neither T nor I have purchased clothes for ourselves in years.  Third, what is the point of getting dressed up in the morning when my day will include crawling on the floor, changing diapers, all manner of mommy-gymnastics, and any number of bodily fluids being wiped on my clothes?

Needless to say, I listened to the speaker's talk at the conference as a skeptic.  But, I was surprised.  The speaker was a lovely, but not overstated, full-time mother of six, not much older than myself.  Her message did not extol fashion as an end in itself, nor did she pressure the pursuit of beauty for vanity or vainglory.  But she submitted that, just as we expect our children and spouse to be dressed and ready to represent themselves well each day, so too must we respect ourselves and our important work through the way we dress.  This needn't involve spending a lot of money, but it does require time to put together activity-appropriate outfits to reflect the dignity and importance of the work we are pursuing.  Dressing well for the day and applying some sensible make-up can also affect how prepared we feel for the day.  

The talk made an impression on me.  I was struck by the fact that, in the same way I want to present myself appropriately-dressed before my patients as a physician, I want to present myself well as a full-time mother before my husband, children and the people we meet each day.  In both cases, the image I am presenting isn't for my vanity or glory, but one of respect for the work I am doing and the role I am fulfilling.  Additionally, if I want my children to respect themselves in the way they dress, I need to set an example in that regard.  And finally, the way I present myself to the world can affect the witness of my faith.  The devil is vying with God for beauty.  While God uses beauty to draw us to Himself, the devil manipulates beauty in an effort to lead us astray.  We, too, can use beauty, not out of vanity, but as part of our witness, drawing others to the Good.  

Coming home from the conference, I was motivated.  A friend told me about the 333 Challenge, a minimalist fashion challenge involving three months of using just 33 items.  It sounded good to me! I cleaned my closet of all the clothing that I didn't wear (a surprisingly large amount), and organized the rest into coordinated outfit groups to make morning selections easier (think packing for a weeklong vacation).  Voila!  A handful of coordinated outfits did wonders for my daily wardrobe doldrums.

Next, it was time to tackle the cosmetics bag.  It took quite a bit of rummaging just to find it.  When I did, I realized how little make-up I have used since getting married.  If motherhood and medical school did nothing for my fashion sense, they did even less for my make-up routine.  The only mascara in my bag was a sample-size from our wedding day.  The eyeshadow, cover-up and lipstick were even older. Eew.

So, off to Target I ran.  Thanks to Brie, our Target make-up-artist-in-residence (I didn't know Target was that kind of store either, but seriously, this girl was great), I had four pieces of perfectly picked cosmetic staples within 3 minutes.  She singlehandedly revolutionized my 2 minute morning make-up routine (which didn't exist before now).  Thank you, Brie.

You know what?  These little changes have made a big difference in how I look and feel everyday.  Maybe others haven't noticed the change as much as I have.  But, I feel more presentable, put-together and more prepared to tackle my days.  This mini-make-over isn't just about how I feel, though.  It is about the respect and gratitude I am showing for my work, my calling, my family, my faith.  And hopefully, at the end of the day, even if it doesn't show on the outside, I want the make-over to shine from my heart.

From my garage hideaway

Today, I was fortunate to have a babysitter come and play with the boys for two and a half hours while G-Bear was at school.  My To-Do list has grown out of control over the past few weeks, and I had demonstrated a sufficient inability to tackle it during either waking or sleeping hours.  Two and a half hours to myself would be precious as gold.  I was determined to make the most of it.

As I snuck out of the house, I contemplated where to stage my To-Do list attack.  Admittedly, I should have planned a location the night before, or at the very least before my feet crossed (unaccompanied, whoo hoo!) across the threshold of our house.  Mea culpa.  In any event, with much to accomplish, I needed four things:  a dry seat (it had started to rain outside), my phone, my computer and an electrical outlet (because, of course, my computer battery was about out of juice.  Perhaps a bit of forethought would have helped here too?).

Here is where the story starts to get ridiculous.

By this point, I had made it to the garage, and, impatient that I hadn't yet made a decision about where to locate, compared the venue finalists in my head.

The University within walking distance?
Veto.  Threat of rain too great.  Can't get the electronics wet.
The Panera within driving distance?
Veto.  I am too cheap to pay for a bagel, and I already had breakfast.
ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!
Okay, how about sitting in the car and working until you decide where to go?
Veto.  The car has a dry seat but no electrical outlet.  I must have an outlet.

I groaned with exasperation over my indecision.  I had already wasted 2 minutes of my precious 150 in this argument with myself.  It was time to take action.

That's when I spotted it:  the large blue cooler in the corner of our garage.  The garage door was open and the incoming daylight reflected off of it like a homing beacon.  On the wall above the cooler was an outlet.  Eureka.

So that's how I spent my glorious babysitter morning, folks:  sitting on a cooler in the corner of my garage, the computer on my lap plugged into the garage wall, typing away like a hermit hiding from civilization.  I am proud to say I have at least three crossed-off, To-Do list items to show for it.

I would feel more ashamed, accept for the fact that when my sister heard about my ridiculousness she confessed that she too had a babysitter come over this morning and while I was hiding in our garage, she was trying to hide under her covers in her bedroom.  Ahhh, at least I'm not alone.

This may be a sign that I should hire a babysitter more often.  Or, at the very least, fish around in my car for a spare $0.89 and by a bagel at Panera next time.

All things considered...

On the eve of T's greatly hailed return home, I must reflect that, all things considered, we've done pretty well the past two weeks.

T departed two weeks ago to return to North Carolina for a brief stint of practice preparation.  For two whole weeks leading up to that point, we had been spoiled by his glorious omnipresence.  The kids and I thrive with T around and we miss him so whenever he is away, so naturally it was hard to say goodbye.

The Bears and I have been tough, though, working to establish our routine and make our days productive and fun even though Dad can't be around.  Some days are certainly better than others, as would be expected, and many nights we all collapse together into a heap.

But there was this one morning.....

Buddy Bear woke up, chipper as usual. I got him out of his crib and let him waddle around the room in his sleep sack while I finished getting ready for the day, until I noticed that his sleep sack was soaking wet.  Before he knew it, I had swept him off his feet to check his sack for the offending cause.  With the sleep sack off, it was evident something was wrong.  His whole pj onesie was filled with poop -- and no diaper.  Our little man had been put to bed with a onesie snapped over his naked little rear end! Poor dude!  Yet, he awoke chipper as ever.  I think there are several lessons for me in there somewhere.

It might be especially incriminating to note that I later noticed his unfolded diaper, ready to be applied, lying on the floor next to the bed where I had left it the night before.

Like I said, we've done pretty well, but maybe not awesome.

Thank goodness, T will be home soon!

Special Delivery

G-Bear seems to love Kindergarten.  We are only four days in, but she has handled the transition beautifully.  Despite the early (by our standards) 6:50am wake ups, she bounds out of bed, enthusiastically dresses in her new uniform and waits patiently while I do her hair.  She races to her class line on the plaza, and waves goodbye with gusto when the bell rings.  When we pick her up at lunchtime, she greets her brothers with hugs and excitedly tells us about the parts of her day that she can remember.

I am so happy for G-Bear, but I miss her terribly.  I look so forward to picking her up from school each day.  Of the two of us, I am having a much harder time with the transition.  Sweet G-Bear always has a knack for making others feel better, though.  Yesterday, as we arrived home, I said,

"G-Bear, it is so nice to have you home.  I missed you!"

To which our sweet girl replied with a grin and a twinkle in her eye,

"Mommy, you remember my secret, don't you?  I really miss you guys too while I am at school!"

Then she pulled out this envelope from her backpack and gave it to me.

She made a picture for me during free time and sounded out the words for the envelope by herself.

"Mommy Delivery" by G-Bear

Many moments of motherhood bring tears to my eyes.  Several of them have presented this past week alone.  If we do our job well, we are not just raising children, we are raising adults; compassionate, caring, loving, gracious adults at that.  These misty-eye moments that come when our kids move another tiny step along their journey need not be moments of sadness, but are signs of hard-fought progress, a piece of the job well done.  

Thanks to G-Bear for the Special Delivery.  It was just the pick-me-up that I needed.