Bridge to the future

Today is one of my first residency planning meetings with the dean.  I have successfully put off this kind of meeting for a year now since I deferred matching and graduation this time last year.   Unfortunately, other than knowing where T and I will be next year for his fellowship,  I don't have any greater clarity about what my professional future will hold today than I did a year ago.  I have tried finding the answer in my prayer life, talking with T, through program websites, while playing with my kids, in conversations with advisors.  Today, I've got no answers.  I struggle to straddle two worlds, my home life and the medical profession, both of which I feel demand my utmost excellence and attention.  I know which world I want to come first.  What does that mean for the other, for my contribution to the world in medicine?


Proverbs 31 speaks about "The Wife of Noble Character" who I desperately want to be:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Decisions about residency are so hard for me to make.  Today, if you think of us, please pray for my insight and wisdom as I search for sure footing for my next steps.

Update: just want to thank everyone for prayers and encouragement.  The meeting was long, but I came away from it with renewed trust in God's plan for me.  Can't wait see what the future holds!